I guess many of you are still off in the woods, working to provide warmth, maybe on the hunt…
On Friday, a deranged lone, troubled, severely mentally ill 20 year old man committed a crime beyond that of rational thought.
On Friday, that which we hold most precious, prized above all else was taken from us, taken from us all. There are many words spoken now, keen minds trying to make sense, trying to comfort us, in dealing with this loss. From my perspective there are no words, there is no transcendant understanding to comfort these people, nothing to fill the void created on friday.
I am conservative, and I am ok with the second amendment, but I am compelled by these events to do some re-evaluation, I am at a loss to understand this deranged man’s access to assault weapons. I can’t feel better to know that things might have been better had he used the Glock. I am pretty devastated by these events, and I can’t imagine their parents, I know I just can’t get there, it’s just so horrible.
I think about my source of guidance, my quest for inspiration, my need to know and understand, and I think toward the writings of the new testament, the Gospels, the Letters, the Acts, Hebrews, even Revelations
How can I maintain my faith in a God that could let such atrocities occur, in 2012, just unbelievable
I know God is there, I know I don’t see everything and I can’t understand everything, I’ve conquered many things, from calculus to foreign languages, to designing and fixing the latest technology, all good, all challenging, great opportunities but I am still so far from knowing, and yet I feel so much, and humbly, with reserve, question, and endure my own dispair while asking God, asking Jesus to help those parents, teachers, husbands, friends of those killed on Friday.
Many say that God will never give you more than you can handle, while this is nice, it’s not accurate, as far as I can tell, I do know that God does inspire, lead and provide solutions, paths, helpers and light, so much light. But we can get more than we can handle, what the bible does say is we will get protection from the evil one, and while there is some consolation there, it’s not much, especially in light of these events.
What I have found is that God, Jesus, taught that we should love each other, that in time of great distress like this, somehow, there is consolation in you and me being there for eachother, that we endure it together, that we suffer it together, although we feel so alone. I’m sure everyone suffering loss from this, does feel alone, but they know they are not alone, we can help each other, forever bound together by this apocalyptic day, wishing to never have known about it.
When will you, the ‘family’, decide that what you’re doing, your cloister, is wrong. When will you come back to be where you should be, with us, working, growing, suffering, racing toward the future, with hope, helping, praying, loving, persevering, where you should be.
The message in Judeo-christian religion in December is positive, victorious, merciful, loving, giving. People can talk about the commercialism, yeah its bad, people making a buck, chasing a buck. The message is still good, worth hearing.
Our sense of loss is great now, our sense of outrage, and yet there is hope, hope springs eternal I guess, that my own limits are just that, my limits, that they are truly exceeded in quantum extreme by Gods infinite love and mercy and grace.
I pray that you in the ‘family’ have your eyes opened, that you come to know your leadership is lying and has no future for you, no truth, no special secret knowledge or double secret plan.
Opportunists, cheats, thieves, each one, laying the groundwork for more lies, more ways to dupe you out of your money. Its December 2012, close to Christmas, and we’re still here, maybe the Mayans just got lazy, I’m lazy, I mean it was so long ago, what was the point? The sun will shine tomorrow, the new Moon will glow in the sky and keep you company. I’m still here, I’m not going anywhere, and while you may not see me, know that I’ll keep you in my prayers, I do wish you the best. Yes sometimes it sucks out here, but we’re here, we’re in it together, we will get through it. You, out there, you are missing it, just leave, walk away, see those who have left before you, they can help, you don’t owe the ‘family’ anything, its your life, go live it, live it with us, step out, its worth it, really.
My Best,
jackhickmancultaddiction 